The Five Love Languages And How to Show it This Valentine’s Season: You may express affection to your significant other regularly, but do you take time to make sure you are communicating it the way your partner wants to receive it? Even love can get lost in translation when two partners speak different love languages.
The Five Love Languages And How to Show it This Valentine’s Season
Below, each of the five original love languages is described in detail.
Words of Affirmation
For people whose love language is words of affirmation, words might actually speak louder than actions: These are people who love unsolicited compliments and pet names and cherish hearing “I love you” more than most things, and even more so if they’re told the reasons why they’re loved. These are people who also take insults deeply to heart, and arguments involving name-calling might be harder for them to get over.
Ways to show it: People with this love language might especially love receiving love notes, good morning/good night text messages, and frequent compliments. (Obviously, the more personalized and genuine the words, the better. People whose language is words of affirmation appreciate creativity too!)
Acts of Service
People who prefer to receive acts of service from partners love to be shown, rather than told, they’re cared for. When their partner does a helpful chore for them or takes care of a task they’ve been avoiding, that’s taken as proof their partner loves them and wants to make life easier for them.
Ways to show it: If your partner speaks in acts of service, consider preparing them food, doing a tedious household chore (without being asked!) Most of these tasks can be relatively simple, and even easy here, it really is the thought that counts.
Sometimes this love language gets a bad rap, coming off as a bit materialistic, but for people whose love language is receiving gifts, they love to receive presents that show them their partner is paying attention. They’re likely to take birthdays and anniversaries seriously.
Ways to show it: people in this group will be particularly touched when given special treatment, take them to their favorite place, or go on a vacation together. People who date this group might do well to keep a little list of gift ideas when they drop hints.
Quality time is another term for attention: this group is most touched by time spent with their partners, whether at home or out on dates. Most people are annoyed when their partners are constantly on their phones. These people want to know that their partners are interested in what they have to say, how they’re feeling, and what they want to do with their time. They’re extra likely to be hurt if they don’t feel listened to, or special.
Ways to show it: This group is likely to appreciate a thoughtful, well-planned date (even, and maybe especially, if it’s without leaving the house) particularly one that allows the couple to talk, make eye contact, and share a new experience. They may also appreciate an effort to ban phone use during dinner.
Physical touch isn’t just about sex this group likes being touched, caressed, massaged, and so on. They love holding hands, love having their hair ruffled and played with, love having their back rubbed when they’re sad or sick. They love hugs and kisses, and when their partner isn’t as physically demonstrative, they can feel lonely and unloved.
Ways to show it: The main thing to remember here is to treat your partner like someone you’re still excited to be around. This can be as simple as trailing your hand over their back when you pass them in the kitchen or remembering to give them a kiss every time they head to work.
Love languages are useful tools to improve how we communicate and express ourselves to each other. It should function as a starting point that sets couples on a journey to meet each other in a more profound way and self-regulate better.